Tonight's blog was written by John.
Then the people said to Jesus, “What must we do to be doing the work of God?” Jesus answered them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He has sent.” John 6:28 & 29 RSV.
I have thought for a long time that I should write giving you prayer requests and thanking you for your prayers. Parkinson’s causes my hand to have tremors and therefore I cannot write and typing takes a long time because I hit the wrong keys. I am very grateful to Margie Knapp for typing this for me.
I am finding that dying is not a happy experience. In fact I am very impressed with those who are disabled before death. For example stroke victims especially double stroke victims who every day when they wake up have nothing to look forward to. My life can be difficult and I never feel good but I have friends and things to do that give me purpose in life.
Jesus has become more real to me and I am certainly grateful for His presence. I have been learning a lot from knowledge network and PBS stations especially in Nature. I wonder about atheists how they can believe that there is no God when the world is so beautiful. Surely if everything was purely coincidental there would be great areas of our world that would not be beautiful.
I would especially like to thank Beverly who has been a wonderful wife throughout our marriage and especially now. When I married Beverly, I thought she was a special person but I had no idea how good she was. As my condition has deteriorated, her love and care has increased. These last few months, I have been hardly able to talk. My lips just don’t open. Therefore communication has been very difficult between us. At times, it has been our greatest challenge. Sometimes she doesn’t understand what I am saying. I think that has been the biggest challenge especially since I thought one of the best things we had going for us was that we communicated well. In spite of the problems, she has continued to love me and to forgive me, which to me, is remarkable. Her life has changed substantially since my condition has become worse. There are days in which I think we only say ten words to each other and yet she continues to love me.
When I first got Parkinson’s, I wondered whether Beverly would continue to love me. To my great surprise, I have found out that she does, and it increases daily. In fact, I have found out, to my surprise that many people love me and I myself have nothing to give them. I now understand more completely, that God loves me unconditionally and many people seem to love me too. I am so grateful.
I am able to do very little in our home. I am very weak and have very poor balance and can fall down easily. Therefore Bev does not let me do very much. Sometimes I am unable to swallow and thus she has to feed me by tube. At 8 a.m. and 9:30 she gives me my medicine, then at 10:15 she gives me a liquid meal and again at 11:00 a.m. she gives me my medicine. She goes on giving me the medicine and meals every 45 minutes until 11 p.m. Thus, the longest time she can be away from me (if she skips one of the feedings) is 90 minutes. She never complains.
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